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Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Welcome to Creative Table Snatching 101

Welcome to Creative Table Snatching class.
I see everyone got here nice and early, that's cool.
I also see that there are BIG dogs in the front rows. Could you bigger dogs move to the back so the shorter ones can move to the front so they can see better? Come on, change seats. um...um...Mango, that means you!! Yes, I know you can scrunch down but you are still big, it will be OK Mango!! move to the back~~you can sit back by the Golden's, they are very friendly!! Everyone OK now??
OK... I, Jazzi am so excited about teaching y'all about table Snatching. I have had 6 yrs experience at it and have it down to a pretty good science now. Addi will be my assistant. I have some outlines and Addi, will you please paw those out to everyone?

                                Table Snatching 101
1. What to Snatch
2. When to Snatch
3. Proper Snatching Techniques
4. Timing of the Snatch
5. A Snatch gone Bad
6. What to do if......

OK, first we are gonna start out with....
1. What to Snatch: When you are snatching, it is important to know what to snatch. You want to watch and choose the foods that aren't messy that you can gobble down quickly with no evidence. Stay away from food with really messy sauces, foods that are very juicy, food with lots of syrup, jellies and powdered foods like powdered lemon bars, they leave powdered sugar all over your face. When you snatch, you certainly don't want the evidence all over your face. Trust me, you wont get away with it with a messy face!! Ex. of a messy face.
2. When to Snatch: There are several times that you can snatch. I would say that most of the time, the best time is after the peeps eat and they have left the room to talk, play etc. Believe me they always leave leftovers on their plates bol unless they are members of the Clean Plate Club!! But there are those times, before they eat that you can actually snatch. For instance one time Kim left a plate full of veggies and a baked potato on the table. She went upstairs to change the baby and put her into bed. Awww perfect!!! Those veggies and potato were so outta here when she came back downstairs BOL Watch to make sure you have enough time to Snatch before they return. Here is a good example: This dog watched and made sure the peeps were busy when he made his snatch.
video
3. Proper Snatching techniques:
When you are going to snatch, there is a system to go through.
   A. Once you spot your snatch you must look to the right and look to the left.
   B. You can snatch in bites. You sit and wait and so gently, snatch a bite at a time.
    C. You can also just gander by, look innocent and then snatch it.
Here is Mango showing us how the innocent sniff sniff and POW!! that peach is toast.
4. Timing of the Snatch:
The main trick of the snatch is just watching for the right time. Here's Sweet William patiently waiting for Lee to leave so he can snatch that hot dog. Now that is a guy with real patience not to snatch right away!! It is all in the timing~~remember that.

Only snatch Before a meal, if ....you have enough time, and after the peeps are outta the room. When you make your snatch don't pussy foot around, just get in there and get it and get out!! The quicker the better, slow will get you caught and put in the slammer!!
My cousin in Texas, Wrigley, has the timing down pat. When my Mom goes to Texas, she will fix a sandwich, on the cabinet, get all the goodies on it and she goes to put the stuff away in the fridge. Within that 3-4 seconds, Wrigley snatches the sandwich and demolishes it all at the same time!! BOL You would think that Mom would learn this but it happens every time. WTG Wrigley!! I don't have a picture cuz he is just way to fast!!
5. A Snatch gone bad:
I know from personal experience, this IS a snatch gone bad!! DON'T ever let this happen to you. This is NEVER a good thing!!
Here is that same dog that made the great snatch. He did two things wrong: He took more than he could chew and he stayed right there and got caught and LOOK what happened to him.
video
6. What to do if....I am gonna open this up to you all for suggestions or ideas. What would you do IF.....??

Ok Nola.....yah lay down and look gazingly like you know nothing!!
Um huh Bella, Go and watch TV, good!!
          Yes Bertie, blame it on the other dog, nice!!
  Yep Sasha, give em that sweet look like who me??? Works every time!!
       Great Ruby, go and hide in the play tunnel!!
     Murphy, great idea, go watch out the window!!
 Good idea Stanley, fake asleep and nice touch with the stuffie right there, and always close your eyes and they will think you have been laying there quite awhile!!
 Oh Benny and Lily got the right idea, RUN like there is NO tomorrow!!
Yep. nother great one Nola, just turn your head the other way!! Great!!
Aww....Goose, that's a good one too.....if you did snatch something messy, put a mask on and no one will ever know. Just tell em that your allergies are bothering you!!
 Roxy is good at running too, I bet she has experience at this!!
Susie is good at settling in and faking sleep too. It helps to scrunch the pillows too FYI
Nice Ranger, just go all flat out. With a cute look like that, who could expect You???
 yah Sweet William, good idea. Go and sit by the watermelon. If they get testy, just roll that watermelon at them!!  
Recliners are always good too, Sidebite made sure that it wasn't even rocking either, that would be a dead giveaway!!
That is a great place for hiding Lily but....you might want to get that tush just a little more under the bed, I'm just saying.....
You all have such great ideas for What if....... I hope you have enjoyed my class and learned something that can help you. Now.....We have about 5 minutes before our moms come and I have a table FULL of tacos, so I say Lets Eat Tacos!!! Everyone on the table!!!

40 comments:

  1. BOL Jazzi! What a great class - I couldn't be there in the furs..... but I joined your internuts feed....... I sure learned some stuff but I'm frightened that my peeps are all belonging to the "clean plate" club!! Will go and monitor the situation!

    Tail Wuggles, Rubie xxx

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  2. Wow Jazzi, I had NO IDEA that a class which wasn't science could be so interesting and informative. Wonderful, wonderful post. Please please please set us lots and lots of homework.
    Toodle pip!
    Bertie.

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  3. Jazzi you are a terrierific teacher! We have learnt SO much and the pictures and videos just nailed all that information down for us - we are visual learners.

    Thanks for a grrrreat class!!
    Wally & Sammy

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  4. Brillant post!

    Murray so enjoyed that class!

    take care
    Clive & Co

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  5. Just Brilliant. We know where we go wrong...it's the messy foods! Boy that dog on the video made two MAJOR mistakes. Poor guy.

    XXXOOO Daisy, Bella & roxy
    \
    Are we allowed seconds on the tacos, or do we have to snatch them...

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  6. Hmmm... I think I need to work on my treat snatching skills. Floyd is going well, we all remember the scone incident...

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  7. What a GREAT class!!! We sure did learn alot!! Wish we could have participated...but mama says she has too many stuffs going on right now!! xoxo Chloe and LadyBug

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  8. Miss Jazzi,
    You have some very interesting information in there which the Mango will be testing out. I have not yet mastered the art of subtlety when it comes to nom snatching and often am caught out when tablecloths or chairs are knocked about. I will endeavor to put into practice what I have learned.

    Slobbers,
    Mango

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  9. Ahahahahah, Susie-Belle has been taking notes....she's determined to become an ace snatcher :)

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  10. Great class Jazzi. Our peeps is unfortunately one of the Clean Plate Club but we take our opportunities when we can. Have a wonderful Wednesday.
    Best wishes Molly

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  11. Great lessons! We snuck outta the Principals office long enough to peek in the window and got some good tips. Gotta run before we get caught........

    Hugs,
    Lily Belle & Muffin

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  12. Really loved all the tips you gave on table snatching! Very informative. Since me and my brother Benji look so much alike -- usually Mommy can't tell us apart when we run from the crime scene. So, neither of us get blamed cause Mommy don't know who done it!

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  13. Yea Mango, I can't sees through you...I'll just sit on your shoulders.
    Hehehehe...dis was so informative! I is gonna has to practice all dis stuff cuz I just snatch right in front of my peeps and then I gets in trubles.

    Is there beer to go withs da tacos?

    Puddles

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  14. Awesome class, my friend! BTW -- don't give Miss Puddles any beer....you will have your hands full then....

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  15. We were spyin' in on your class, Jazzi, and we gotta say that we learned a whole bunch! Thank you!

    Love ya lots,
    Mitch and Molly

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  16. Oh Jazzi great class. Can I stay after class to help you clean up and maybe you will let me sneak a kiss.
    Sniffs & Licks from your guy
    Sweet William The Scot

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  17. OK I admit I was hesitant about going to school. But I have to tell you this WAS GREAT!! I learned so much and there are TACOS!!!! Tacos in class!! If all classes had tacos this world would be a much smarter place (all be it a little more gassy too). Thanks teacher you are the best.
    Blessings,
    Goose

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  18. Jazzi, thnaks, we really listened cause we did need some help on this, Bites was smart and used his camera to take pics of the various snatching methods, and I have a back pack with a 20 page note book on just this stuff. Really, REALLY like the tacos, Bites ate so many he sleepy. Now that taco traing is over we are ready for National Taco Day

    Your Good Furends

    Susie & Bites

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  19. Jazzi and Addy well done! I am a foodie and did have a problem snatch and go but thanks to you I'm now an expert.
    Hugs Madi your BFFF

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  20. Great class Jazzi!! I have learned so much and will put it to the test today at lunch time!!

    ~Higgins

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  21. Oh I loved this class, Jazzi! All my brudders and sisters are really good at the "run by and grab" technique.

    But I has a question, teacher. What do wittle weenie dogs wit short legs like me do to snatch from da table?

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  22. Thanks fur trading seats with us Mango. I can see Much better up HERE.

    OH Jazzi what a MARVELOUS Class. I enjoyed EVERY BIT (or should I say BITE) of it. You are a super teacher. I can tell that you have STUDIED and PRACTICED these skills.
    BRAVO fur a JOB well TAUGHT.

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  23. Great job teaching your class Jazzi. I can tell you have had lots of practice in snatching.

    Stop by my blog today for a chance to win a toy and help me raise money for Miss Sandra and the Pittie Pack.

    Cindy

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  25. Food snatching! Great tips! Only please be careful what you snitch. I snitched a corn cob out of the trash and ended up needing surgery for an obstruction. So...Steal Food Responsibly!
    Love,
    Brooks
    p.s. we're following you now! And if it doesn't conflict too much, check out our class on dieting!

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  26. Miss Jazzi! Wesa so enjoyed your class. Thanks for letting me wear the birthday sombrero!
    Much Luvums,
    The Slimmer Puggums
    George, Gracie ('da sombrero wearing birthday girl), Toby, Lily, & Mimi

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  27. Oh Jazzi, what a FANTASTIC class!!!! Bravo! I learned so much, I must practice tonight!
    Oh, those tacos look fantastic, great time to hone my technique!
    Thanks for teachin' today Jazzi!

    Kisses,

    Ruby

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  28. Hey Jazzi!
    Wow, what a super class! You're so right about chosing what items to grab. Nothing is worse than a perfectly executed snatch only to discover you nabbed a nasty veggie instead of the meat! BOL Great video footage too.
    Grr and Woof,
    Sarge, Super-Student

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  29. What a GRREAT class! I've learned SO much, and those tacos are nummy. Thanks, teach!

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  30. This was an excellent class - thank you! Your are a most excellent professor for teaching this class. We got lots of tips and will be doing our homework right away!

    Your friends,

    Murphy & Stanley

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  31. BOL. Pawesome class Jazzi. I learned so much and am going to practice your techniques this afternoon. I'll let you know how things go.
    Chow. Luv ya. Ranger

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  32. WOWSERS Jazzi dats wos a most pawesome class wee is gonna try all da fings yoo has suggestified , wee will lets yoo knows how wee gets on
    Fank Yoo fur bein a grate teecher

    Lovs
    Da K Krew
    xxxxxxxxx

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  33. Boy would I be in big trouble if I took anything off of the table. Monster face tries and gets in trouble each and everytime.!!!

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  34. BOL BOL BOL!!! Thanks for the pawsome class, Jazzi! I have learned some refined snatching for sures!
    Nola

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  35. I loved your class, Jazzi!
    I need to follow your info.... my mom always knows when I do it!
    Kisses and hugs
    Lorenza

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  36. BOL, thats right Jazzi and Addie we grab it and run...love your post!!
    Benny & Lily

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  37. Jazzi sorry I am a little late I am helping Mommy on the pizza truck. Puddles got a hold of the keys and kind of smashed it. I have learned so much here. These are techniques I have never tried.I love Gooses approach, you could have anything under that maks. Hey...someone snatched my taco! Not fair you guys we aren't supposed to snatch from each other. May I please have 1 more taco Jazzi they are so good. Please stop by my pizza truck we have lots left.

    Loveys Sasha

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  38. I was at the back of the room, but listening intently. Well done!

    ArooOOO, Stuart

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  39. So very interesting! Hey, down in front Mango. I no can sees all the foodstuffs!

    Love,
    Reuben

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  40. I'm a little late for the lesson but I loved it!
    My mom better not see this!!
    Cotton

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